Three “No-no”s for Elderly’s Tidying Up

It always happens that a mother and a daughter get into a very bad mood over tidying up. The daughter wants to throw away junks (that’s what she thinks), but the mother wants to keep them because they are not junks for her.

They know they should do something, but it doesn’t work. The daughter is lost how to bring up the topic and the mother doesn’t know where to start. Various thoughts and feelings are tangled.

If you know three no-no’s in elderly’s tidying up, you don’t have to worry about it. These are very simple things. If you remember them, the tidying up will be so easy and make everyone happy!

Three No-No’s

１．Try to finish everything in one chance

２．The phrase of “You don’t need this.”

３．Push the rules of your own

Try to finish everything in once chance

One day, one of my colleagues told me, “today, my husband is off the work and the children are free from school activities, so I would go to mom’s house with them and get clean at once while I have helps”.

Oh no! I wouldn’t want that happen if I were her mom!

I don’t want my quiet life to be disturbed and I don’t want my stuff to be rummaged out of my sight. Thanks for her offer, but NO, I want things get done more slowly bit by bit.

Yes, the elderly cannot keep up with the pace of younger people.

The phrase of “You don’t need this.”

“You don’t need this.” or “Why are you keeping this?” I know these phrases are commonly said by daughter’s generation.

But WAIT!

The elderly cannot answer one after another when questions are poured out. They kept things because they NEEDED them!

So, don’t ask them whether they need them or not, but ask them HOW OFTEN they use them.

Then, they will calmly judge “I may not need them because I’m not using that as I thought.“

Push the rules of your own

My mom always used to ask me, “Please help me to tidy the kitchen”

Yes, this is my chance to show what I can do, I thought. And I started like “well, you should put this here which makes you use easier”, “this should be piled up, it looks nicer.” All in my own rules.

After everything seemed to be decluttered. My mom looked somehow unhappy. Why?

Actually, things are decluttered, but where have Mom’s things gone; her things she uses everyday, the things she kept in her position? Everything was changed far from mom-friendly situation. So, next time I went to her house, all the things were back in her position again.

Yes, there is cozy and comfortable rules for mom. They may not be as nice as you frequently see in the housing magazines. But they are the best and comfortable rules for her, which you must respect. T

When you were young, you could perhaps declutter the whole house in one day, but when you get older, it is too tiring. You can only work on one place, like today for kitchen and tomorrow for cupboard. So, if you want to tidy up your parents’ house, be patient. Hurry around and respect their slow life.

First, begin to talk with them what inconvenience they feel and how they want to change. Then you will find a tip. If you can share the landing point, the tidying up will work smoothly and happily.

Then, start from a very small place.